Each day there are more and more cases of abuse being shared on our public news, however; we continue to hide, accept, and whisper about these crimes. It seems we cringe as we hear about the victims of these crimes being murdered; beaten to death by someone who supposedly loves them. Truthfully its not love that this person has, but instead more a need to control, intimidate, and conquer complete power over those in their home that creates the abusive attacks. When the abuser beats on their spouse/partner, children it is most often their need to demand complete compliance from their victims that causes these attacks. The abuser's need to be the emperor of their environment is what drives these attacks. Their narcissistic personality; their own mental disorder; their own feeling of personal failure will spark the desire to maintain order in their domain. Unfortunately they cannot show or express this personal trait in the public environments so they tend to attack those in their home.
In my own personal case of survival there were a number of years spent in physically and/or emotionally abusive attacks. These partners were driven by different reasons to control my behavior. There was the need for me to show perfection in the public eye so as not to "embarrass" them in front of family, friends, colleagues. If my partner felt that I showed a lower standard of myself to anyone this would be considered a personal insult against them. In their mind it could possibly have effected them by endangering their career path so it was necessary for them to put me back in line with their expectations. There was also the partner who felt inferior to others in society, which triggered an anger and caused them to come home and use this insecurity as fuel to explode with brutal violence so that they could once again feed their sense of power. Then, of course, there was also the acts of violence because they simply could not control their actions when they got upset about some small something out of place in their world.
These are just a few of the causes that can influence the abuses in our homes. There are always other factors that can trigger these outbursts of rage. The attacks can be triggered by alcohol, drugs, or even an anger set of by someone else who they cannot react against; so instead they come home and release that anger on those they "love". The main aspect of these attacks is a need to feel in control of their personal environment and those who share that space with them.
As a society we cannot change those who choose to use violence against the ones in their home, but we can become more aware and protective of those living around us. We have a choice to say, "it's none of our business" or we can be the person who stands against these abusive attacks. We can stay hidden in our homes and listen to the beating rage of violence next door or we can pick up the phone and call the authorities, which may give the victim a chance to get assistance and become a survivor; instead of another statistic. Remember, the violence in our homes will have a direct reflection on our children. The level of their frustration over these acts in their home will explode on the people around them. It will cause them to have problems with concentration in school, being disruptive in class or offending those around them with violence or other acts of bullying.
We can no longer ignore the ever growing problem of violence in our homes. It is time for us to unite against these cruel acts and be the ones to stand against them. We must become more aware of our neighbors, friends, family and those we see in our daily circle of life. When you see these people/children every day you will be able to pick up on the signs of problems. All it takes is a simple act of caring to question their well being. You can be the one who offers a battered spouse a hot line number for them to call and speak with a professional who can assist them with creating an escape plan to get themselves and their children to a safe environment. Most importantly is the need for us to start discussing these issues of home violence and educating ourselves and our children on how to prevent or avoid these cruelties. There are many different ways that we can be more of assistance to those caught in this circle, but the most helpful would be to simply open our eyes and our mouths about the issues. We have to become more aware of those around us and help to protect those being controlled by violence in their homes.
Thank you for giving me a portion of your very valuable time. If you would like to contact me please forward an email to: trish.mcknight@live.com or you can friend me on Facebook at triciagirl62@facebook.com . The issues of abuse will not just simply disappear; it is up to our society to make that conscious decision to help bring about a change in this pattern of life. This will never happen so long as we continue to ignore the problem.
If you would like to read my own story of a life abused you can purchase "My Justice" which is available through authorhouse.com / amazon.com / barnesandnobel.com or simply search in google books.
Have a wonderfully blessed day and may all of your moments be safe in this world.
We all deserve to have roses in our garden of life!!!
Tricia McKnight
Author: "My Justice"
